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John and Alex or why you can forget about sharks

The best part about meeting people on their travels is they remind me of everything that at one stage I have also found new, different and exciting. So there we were, five people crouched on a blanket for a pick-nick in the midst of Perth’s Kings Park in the late afternoon. The sun was slowly descending and another hot summer day coming to an end.

While we chopped veggies and fried meat patties and sausages on the bbq K. and J., two friends of a friend that have freshly hopped off the plane from Europe, strolled around watching the changes of light and their reflections on Perth’s skyline.

While sipping wine and chatting along two completely other friends were watching us. Intently. Every move. I’m pretty sure they even counted our pieces of meat, licking their lips. Only, they didn’t actually have lips…

I’m sure these two fellows must have been brothers I could see it from the way they had mischief written all over the innocent looking little faces. I’m not prone to prejudice but here I was knowing it’ll only be a matter of time when the two thieves wouldn’t be able to resist their urge…

Anyway, back to us on the blanket munching away listening to K. and J. sharing their first impressions of the city and people. Suddenly all I remember is feeling immersed in fluttering feathers around my head. A scream escaped my mouth (that’s just me, I like a good scream even if I have no clue what’s actually happening) and I looked around to find K. staring at us with shock and horror saying flabbergasted: “that bird just landed on my plate and crashed into my face. What sort of bird was that?”

Yes, that my friend was a very hungry Kookaburra, who, as predicted, couldn’t resist the urge to steal from your plate. What do you expect from birds that first thing in the morning have a good chuckle? Some even say their naughty laughter sounds like a kafuffle amongst apes.

This cocky fellow had swooped down from its lamp-post where it had sat before and attacked K.’s plate. Because K. was holding the plate so close to her face the bird unfortunately collided with her face. Also very unfortunate was the length and sharpness of its beak, which left a slightly painful scratch on K’s upper lip, which swell up lightly within seconds.

It was quite a clumsy attack. Maybe he wasn’t after the meat and this is what the two Kookaburras actually said and thought.

John: “Look at these people they have meat. And sausages, what do you think, Alex?”

Alex: “Nah, I don’t like pork. What about those guys over there on the blanket? Yummy, they’re having meat patties!”

John: “Where?”

Alex: “There, to the right. The ones with the two jet lagged girls.”

John: “Oh my God!”

Alex: “What?”

John hyperventilating and almost falling of the lamp-post.

Alex: “John, what’s wrong with you?”

John: “I think,…”

Alex; “Yes?”

John: “I’m falling..”

Alex: “What?! You’re a bird you can’t fall stupid!”

John: “…in love.”

Alex: “Are you mad?”

John: “I must talk to her.”

Alex: “Ugh. She doesn’t even speak Kookaburrian, you idiot.”

John: “Oh yes, true. I must do something, she is so pretty….”

Alex: “John, nooooo! What are you…”

Before Alex can reason with him John heads towards K. full speed, comes to a halt just before her face and quickly returns to puzzled Alex.

Alex: “What was that?! You didn’t even get her meat, what the hell went into you?”

John giggles: “Mhhhh, I stole something much better. I kissed her soft beautiful lips and quickly flew away before she could say anything…”

Alex sighs and rolls his eyes: “You’re such an embarrassment.”

This is just another proof why you don’t have to worry about being attacked by a shark. There’s just so much other wildlife here that’s just waiting to acquaint themselves with you…

4 Comments Post a comment
  1. dou dou #

    Ha! I really think you should enter my bird story writing contest!

    And I am making one of those Kookaburras!

  2. a.l.l.vanilla #

    That’s such a great story, told beautifully. Love the look on the face of the kooka too!

  3. Kathrin Nollek #

    “Some even say their naughty laughter sounds like a kafuffle amongst apes.”
    hahaha….even better: I know someone, whose laughter sounds like a Kookaburra…..
    funny story,Chris!


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